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What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse refers to a consistent pattern of emotional, psychological, or sometimes physical harm inflicted by a person who displays strong narcissistic traits — such as a deep need for control, admiration, or dominance — and a lack of empathy for others.

It often involves manipulative behaviours like gaslighting, blame-shifting, demeaning comments, emotional withdrawal, or alternating affection and criticism to confuse or control the victim.

Unlike occasional conflict in healthy relationships, narcissistic abuse is chronic and strategic — aimed at undermining the other person’s confidence, independence, and sense of reality. Over time, this dynamic can lead to anxiety, depression, confusion, and loss of self-worth in the survivor.

Did you know?

General (global/clinical) prevalence of NPD: estimates in community samples vary — commonly cited ranges are around 0.5% to 6% of the general population, depending on the study and measurement method. Clinical settings often report higher percentages.

Traits of Narcissism

  • Grandiosity or exaggerated sense of self-importance.
  • Persistent need for admiration, praise, and special treatment.
  • Lack of empathy or difficulty recognising others’ feelings.
  • Sense of entitlement and expectation of special favors.
  • Exploitative behaviour — using others to meet own ends.
  • Fragile self-esteem beneath the surface (vulnerable narcissism) — extreme sensitivity to criticism, possible rage or withdrawal when challenged.

Traits of Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in a Relationship

Love-bombing → devaluation → discard

Intense idealisation at the start, followed by sudden criticism and withdrawal.

Gaslighting

The abuser repeatedly denies or twists facts to make the victim doubt their memory, perception or sanity.

Emotional manipulation & control

Frequent blaming, guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or rules about who the victim can see or speak to.

Isolation

Cutting the victim off from friends/family or undermining their support network.

Blame-shifting

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — the abuser portrays themselves as the real victim.

Financial or sexual coercion and boundary violations.

Hoovering

Repeated attempts to pull the victim back with apologies, promises, or threats after a separation.

Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

Mental Health Impacts

Higher rates of anxiety, depression, complex PTSD or PTSD-like symptoms, chronic stress and panic symptoms.

Erosion of self-esteem and identity

Victims often report loss of confidence, self-doubt, and difficulty making decisions. Gaslighting contributes strongly to this.

Cognitive effects and hypervigilance

Problems with concentration, memory, sleep disturbances and ongoing hypervigilance.

Social and financial harms

Isolation from support networks, career disruption or financial control/manipulation.

Longer recovery path

Because emotional abuse is often invisible, survivors may need extended therapeutic and social support to rebuild trust and identity.

Did you know?
To be diagnosed with NPD, a person must exhibit at least five of the nine specific traits outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).